In recent years Japanese, especially young people, seem not to be good at real communication.
They want to use e-mail, LINE, and Facebook, even when they are seated next to each other. They seem to avoid real talking as if it’s a mortal trap. Internet is of course one of the most convenient and important tools for communication today, but it cannot entirely replace going out to meet someone. What is the difference between real and virtual communication? Talking face to face, you can get information from not only words but body language. Communication with your senses would give you unexpected sort of awareness. Try to communicate with people in real life and you can get real value of communication!
1. Stay Together
Conversations are not always required. By just sitting down together you sometimes can feel relaxation and relationship. When I was a child, my grandmother often stayed with me instead of my busy parents. She was very quiet but I was comfortable with her because she seemed to know everything. As you can see, silence can be good communication.
2. Aware of Body Language
Using your 5 senses is essential. My 11-year-old son, a pupil of Kendo, is always trying to read his opponent’s eyes and grasp his next action not only to win but also to get to know his opponent. Japanese people says “Eyes speak better than mouth.” That’s why non-verbal communication is useful for making relationships.
3. Avoid Hurtful Comments
Communication is like a waterwheel which makes energy flow. You should be careful not to say a crushing comment that can stop the flow. When I was a high school student, my friend used to complain to me about her boyfriend. One day I said “Say good bye to such a stupid boy!” After that she found someone else to talk about him with and I realized she wanted me just to hear, not to judge. You should be careful because even “correct” comments sometimes cut off relationship. It is essential to put yourself in the other person’s place.
4. Never Say, “No Time”
Being obsessive about the efficiency of communication has no benefit. When I’m writing an article about someone, I often find tips for a good topic in the small details of an interview. In contrast, I can write only a general article when the interview stayed focused. Vagueness is a chest filled with valuables in real communication. Don’t be afraid of losing time to talk without purpose.
Yucca is a writer who wrote 2 books about Scandinavian lifestyles and Vietnamese foods. Also she was the editor of the magazine “SOTOKOTO” for over 10 years. “SOTOKOTO” means “wisdom under the tree” in the African language, and was known as the first magazine of LOHAS “Lifestyles Of Health And Sustainability” in Japan. Yucca was born in Kurashiki, graduated Ochanomizu University, has 1 child and 1 partner, wants to travel and meet many people throughout her life. She always says “It’s never too late!”